Thursday, August 28, 2008

So that's what abdicate means!

The Washington Post invited its readers to submit words that they have altered and provided definitions for. Here are some of my favorites:

Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Here, the readers are invited to submit alternate meanings for common words:

coffee , n. the person upon whom one coughs.

flabbergasted , adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

abdicate , v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

negligent , adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

lymph , v. to walk with a lisp.

balderdash , n. a rapidly receding hairline.

oyster , n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

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