So that's what abdicate means!

The Washington Post invited its readers to submit words that they have altered and provided definitions for. Here are some of my favorites:

Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


Here, the readers are invited to submit alternate meanings for common words:

coffee , n. the person upon whom one coughs.

flabbergasted , adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

abdicate , v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

negligent , adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

lymph , v. to walk with a lisp.

balderdash , n. a rapidly receding hairline.

oyster , n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.